The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize