walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
