she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize