I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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