i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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