We talked him into tasing himself.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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