ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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