i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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