dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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