Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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