Soap is not a condiment
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
