I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
MIDGETS
????
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
