I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
