There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
