were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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