I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
