I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
