If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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