I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
