You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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