Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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