coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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