who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
