I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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