Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
