ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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