i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
