i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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