My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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