it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
