the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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