Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize