Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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