Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
