I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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