Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize