Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize