We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
