I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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