I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
