Define "chronic" masturbator.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
