omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's blow job season.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
