I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
