David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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