you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
