We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
