just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
