She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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