No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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