covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I would fuck him just for his dog
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
