He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize