I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Also, beer. Big fan.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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