yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
