Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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