You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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