Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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