i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
