Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
