they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I need water and some morals
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
