i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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