i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
