cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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