I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
