so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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