When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
