I think my vagina is haunted
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
