i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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